Going Home Packing

It felt like a gun in my back and the voice behind me didn't exactly put me at an advantage either...I had just walked away from the ATM and now I was about to be robbed..."don't look at me" the voice said. "Im desperate and that's a problem for you, unless I have to shoot."
I was hoping not to get shot, but at the same time, I apparently hesitated and as I fished out the money the voice screamed at me "I that all you got," Two hundred dollars, still warm from the ATM, nice and crisp, was about to be handed over...
"Im coming back tomorrow," the shadowy voice said, "and you better have more money to show me the next time. A lot more money."
Suddenly the voice was gone and so was my money...It has been a month and the voice apparently has not found me...yet...I've moved across town and stopped going out after dark but somewhere out there. I thought I might have seen someone near the ATM, but its all good now because I'm carrying a gun and if I have to...

The Artful Dodge

No matter where I am in New York City, strangers walk up to me and say things like "do you know where I can find a check cashing place that is also open?"

One when I'm standing in a long line, out of hundreds of people it might go something like this: "we're interviewing people today and wonder if you would mind asking a few questions." As usual I have not too much to say and after answering a few questions from the Columbia School of Journalism they ask if they can take a photograph and that's that....then there is the Russian woman who wants to take the subway to Coney Island and wonders which train I think she should take...and this one is NOT listening to a word I say but she seems satisfied with my answer...

What do I do that creates this minor problem for me? Im still searching for an answer and it has been this way for years...when I'm at Trader Joe's in Brooklyn in a pretty long line, the clerk seems intent on getting me to smile even if I am trying to talk to a friend with me and eager to get out of there...I tried looking away but it didn't work out...I tried mumbling, same deal...my biggest fear is going blind and being unable to get away, but at least we will not have any eye contact...as an experiment I tried Trader Joe's in Los Angeles and...

March Under Water

It is the first day of March, not knowing what to expect I am having a cup of coffee but underneath it all I feel something is about to happen...it is the kind of sensation that puts you on guard, something that tells you distantly things are not quite what they seem today...I ignored three knocks on my door and after whomever left, I cut through the parking lot and went out up cottage street, noticing that a strange car was parked near my place, not too near, but closer than I like...about this time the car drove off and I stopped being paranoid, (a mostly relaxed guy), when all of a sudden the car pulls up and says "hey, they found your car in the harbor last night, did you know?"...I don't even have a car, whatta mean I said to this stranger..."Your old Range Rover, the white one, is sitting at the bottom"...I know it had become a curse, but it is outta my life and I are very happy with that..."Okay, he said, I'll tell em to stop looking for you."